A few months ago, I received a package in the mail.  I order stuff online all the time, so this is nothing unusual; however, this package contained something I would have never expected.  If you follow me on Instagram and/or Facebook, you may have already seen the photos and read the story, but just in case, I’ll give a recap here.  The package contained 3 rock band t-shirts:  an XL Evanescence, a 2X Halestorm, and a 3X Evanescence.  There was a sweet, type-written note inside the package from an unnamed person saying they weren’t sure of my size, but wanted to get me something to wear to a concert should these bands ever return to my area.  Now, a few weeks earlier, Evanescence and Halestorm were at a venue a mere hour away from where I live.  I’ve loved Evanescence since they came on the scene my freshman year at Emmanuel College, and I discovered Halestorm later on, so I was super excited to see these bands together.  I ended up not being able to get off work, so I didn’t get to attend the concert.  Honestly, I don’t even remember who I told about it because it’s not like I had been planning it for months or anything.  I’m a bad fan, and only found out about the concert maybe a week earlier.  Sure, it was disappointing, but no big deal.  The point being, I have zero idea who would have bought those shirts for me or even known about me missing the concert.  Whoever you are, thank you again!  The Halestorm shirt is the only one I wear “out” since my actual size is a 2X, but I sleep in the 3X Evanescence shirt, and hope to someday overcome the weight gain from 21 years of medication and jacked-up hormones and fit into that XL (bonus that they are the most comfortable shirts I have ever had hands-down).

If I had been a “good fan,” I would have known well in advance that this concert was taking place and made appropriate plans to attend.  I have listened to and enjoyed their music for years, but as previously mentioned, I’ve never been one to buy band merch or really even know much about the bands other than the fact that I enjoy their music.  Case in point… I thought Evanescence had 2 female singers when I first started listening to their debut album Fallen back in 2003.  I even had pictures in my mind of what they looked like, and tried to guess which one was singing at what time during the songs!  It wasn’t until about a year or so later when I bought my own copy of the CD that I saw photos of the band members, realized there was only one girl, and felt like an idiot.  Why it had never occurred to me that she probably sang her own harmonies is still beyond my ability to reason.  Now, I am pretty sure that I bought an Evanescence poster from the Book Fair my first year teaching and hung it up in my classroom behind my desk, but I honestly can’t remember.  That was 15 years ago, after all.

I sort of looked into Halestorm a bit during my 4^th year teaching.  See, back in college, I studied Music Education.  Music Ed is the redheaded-step-child of any college’s education department.  I don’t think anyone intends for it to be, but it is.  Most of my classes (even education-specific classes) were held in the music hall, but on one of those rare occasions when I had a class in the ed building, we were given an assignment to create a theme for a classroom.  I don’t remember what class it was or the specifics of the assignment (again, this was over 15 years ago, and I’ve had crazy hormone meds, a hysterectomy, age, and a concussion working against my memory), I just remember needing to use a theme.  I knew that since I was up against all these cutesy, creative Elementary Ed majors, I had to come up with something really amazing.  It was not a competition, but to ME it was!  Haha!  I got the idea to do a play off my name and use “HaleStorm” as my theme, saying that Ms. Hale’s class will take the world by storm!  It was even more cool because doing elementary school music, I would have every child in the school, proving the point that ALL the kids will take the world by storm!  I had all kinds of storm-related stuff to use for the assignment.  One of my artistic friends perfectly sketched out my vision of a tornado with music symbols flying around in it for a bulletin board, I had hail stones falling from a storm cloud for my word wall, and all kinds of stuff.  It looked great!  Anyway, I ended up with the best theme for the assignment, so score one for Music Ed!  😊  After college, I got into Special Education, and that’s what I’ve done my whole career; I’ve never taught music professionally.  So being in SPED, I shared a classroom my first 3 years teaching, so it wasn’t until my 4th year in 2010-2011 when I finally had the opportunity to use that “HaleStorm” theme.  I was teaching online that year (this was before online teaching was a major thing like it is now), so I had to condense it down a bit.  I made a cool flyer with the HaleStorm theme, introducing myself to my new colleagues, students, and their parents.  Someone replied back to my welcome message saying that they loved that band and asked if I was related to them.  Umm.. band?  What band?  Like most people in the age of Google, the first thing I did was enter “HaleStorm” into the popular search engine.  I quickly found them; and with the question that person asked about us being related at the front of my mind, I took one look at frontwoman Lzzy Hale and literally laughed out loud.  I wish!  Haha!  NO ONE in my family is that cool (no offense fam, I love you all!)  😊  I spent a few minutes reading about the brother/sister dynamic and listening to a few sound clips, but I was deflated.  I thought, “Well, dang it.  I can’t use this theme anymore since it’s probably copyrighted or trademarked, and I’m not trying to get sued.”  I bought a copy of one of their CDs as my sort of “oops, I didn’t know” penance, and I never used that theme for my classroom again.  It’s okay, though, because I actually ended up liking the band.

I think my favorite song from HaleStorm is the one titled “Mz. Hyde” off their 2012 The Strange Case Of… album, which was their second album.  Guitarist, keyboardist, and frontwoman, Elizabeth (known professionally as Lzzy), and her brother, drummer Arejay, said in an interview that their second album contains some of the more “aggressive” songs that are faster, powered by heavy guitar riffs, and where Lzzy does some scream-singing; and then there are some of the more lyrical ballad type songs, which were more “intimate and personal” for Lzzy.  These vastly different sounds don’t typically mesh well when putting together a cohesive record, but the song “Mz. Hyde” is what brought everything together—the heavy and the light—with that perfect homage to the classic book, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.  One thing I have picked up on with Lzzy Hale and her lyrics is that most of them are not literal, but are more metaphorical or open for interpretation, so they could really mean anything at all.  They are most definitely a PG-13 or higher kind of band so far as lyrics go a lot of the time, but what I take away from “Mz. Hyde” isn’t that literal Jekyll/Hyde, Good Girl/Bad Girl, or whatever sort of thing.  According to the interview, for Lzzy, “Mz. Hyde” is sort of her shy, reserved side verses her on-stage rockstar, powerhouse side.  For me, my two sides are “Mary Beth” and “Ms. Hale”:  the loser, and the awesome.  The what I am, and the what I wish I was.

It makes me sad that my colleagues from the school system I worked for prior to my departure to recover more fully from the concussion and other obnoxious health ordeals, will never know who “Ms. Hale” really is.  I was coming back into the classroom after a 7-year absence wherein I assisted my parents in North Carolina (where after teaching just one year found out that they wouldn’t accept my Georgia teaching certificate).  I am thankful for the time with my parents, and all of the good that came from my time up there, but the biggest thing that happened while I was away from Georgia, was that I went right back to being the Mary Beth from high school.  Before I went to Emmanuel College, I was the biggest loser ever, and kind of afraid of people.  People made me extremely nervous.  I thought I could hold on to all the progress I made from living in Georgia, but it didn’t take long for the curse of that NC town to overtake me again.  After 8 years of that, coming back home to Georgia was a huge adjustment again.  I had forgotten how to interact with people, and had lost all my confidence.  I thought stepping back into my “Ms. Hale” character would help, and it did a little bit.  I didn’t feel fully confident or free to be that full version of myself initially because it had been such a long time since “Ms. Hale” had been active.  I had to re-learn particulars of Special Education and navigate a different teaching setup/environment than I had ever experienced previously, so I was more focused on that and making sure the kids got everything they needed.  The following year, I thought I was starting to gain some of that old confidence back, but when I tried to be full “Ms. Hale” again, it just blew up in my face.  Then I tripped over a desk, knocked myself out, and now “Ms. Hale” is right back in storage again.  The “Ms. Hale” character of-old could do absolutely anything.  When I turned into “Ms. Hale,” I was a completely different person.  Fearless (except when it comes to bees, of course).  She had strong classroom management skills, lessons that were creative yet practical, and even received what I consider to be the highest compliment a teacher can get:  parents asked for the younger siblings of current students to be placed in her classroom for the next year.  The superintendent of the school system even came to see Ms. Hale on her last day to thank her for good work, apologize for the budget cuts that took her job, and to let her know that she was welcome to use him as a reference anywhere she went in the future.  She was fun and crazy, sure, but she was also just a very good teacher.  Students met and exceeded goals, gained confidence they had not previously felt, and learning became something they “got” to do instead of something they “had” to do.  Her colleagues always had positive things to say about her teaching methods and style, and even though she had to ask a lot of questions, all of her paperwork was always done correctly and turned in on time.  But that Ms. Hale had to be found again.  After the time in NC, she didn’t just come back to life right away.  This in-limbo Ms. Hale was really just lame old Mary Beth, but she dang well made sure that the kids always got quality instruction and had everything they needed.  But that old “Ms. Hale” never found her way back.  She’s still out there somewhere, and I am excited to find her again someday.  I always felt like “Ms. Hale” was the best part of me, and who I wish I could be all the time because she was so great and well-liked.  Mary Beth and Ms. Hale are two sides of the same person.  My version of Jekyll and Hyde, or HaleStorm’s “Mz. Hyde.”

People often associate various trials and hardships in life with the story of Job in the Bible.  Hopefully none of us has literally had all our livelihood, faithful assistants, and children all be ripped from us in a matter of minutes (Job 1:13-22).  Then soon after come down with the most painful physical ailment we’ve ever dealt with (Job 2:7).  And on top of all that, add insult to injury by having your spouse and friends tell you it’s all your own fault (Job 2 – pretty much the rest of it).  Yeah, hopefully none of us have literally had that suckfest, but we all have our own unique trials in life where the story of Job (and how he never lost faith in or blamed God, and how God restored everything back to him even more than he had before—Job 42:10-17) can help us through our hard times.  Nothing is ever lost forever.  I’m sure I’ll find “Ms. Hale” again in some way, and maybe in a different way or even better than before.  I don’t literally have to have the same experience to take something away from the story of Job, just like I don’t literally have to have the same experience with the lyrics of “Mz. Hyde” to take something away from it. 

I’m a bad fan in the sense that I can’t tell you what city Lzzy and Arejay Hale grew up in, what their favorite colors are, or how they came to know their fellow bandmates, but does that really make me a bad fan?  Am I less of a fan just because I don’t know those things without having to look them up?  Does not knowing random facts and trivia make me enjoy their music less, hinder me from buying a ticket to their concerts, or proudly wearing the t-shirt that was sent to me in the mail?  Definitely not!  There are plenty of radio show hosts, podcasters, and bloggers who can give you all the trivia and info on whatever band you can name, yet will openly admit that they don’t much care for that band’s music.  Trivia doesn’t make you a fan; loving and feeling connected to the art and artist is what makes you a fan.

I feel like there is a big difference between being a spectator and being a true fan.  It’s like that in our relationship with God, too.  You don’t have to know all the ins and outs and all the things about Jesus to love Him, just like I don’t have to know every little thing about Lzzy Hale to like and appreciate her work.  However, learning more about the people we enjoy makes them feel more relatable and love them more.  Now that I missed that epic Evanescence/Halestorm concert, I’ve joined their fan clubs so it wont happen again, and I’ve been reading up on them and their music because it is making me enjoy it on another level as I learn more about it.  Similarly, once you come to know Jesus and spend time with Him, the more you will want to know about Him, and your relationship with Him will grow and flourish the more you learn.  I can’t tell you everything about God, but I’m a fan, and I love Him, so I want to find out as much as I can!  The more I learn about Jesus, the cooler He becomes and the more I want to know more.  Psalms 122:1 says, “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the LORD.’”  The book of James chapter 4 verse 8 says, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.”  We have front row VIP all-access passes to God!  As Christians, we should want to be an active participant in a relationship with Him.  I mean, who is cooler than God?!  Look at all the wonders He has created, all the amazing things He has done!  And He wants to hang out with ME?!  What?!!!  That is so incredible when you think about it… I mean, whoa…

I love Jesus, and I want to be a good reflection of Him.  Does that always happen?  HA!  That’s a negative, Ghost Rider.  As I have frequently said over the course of these blogs, that is just an unfortunate side effect of being human.  But I want to be God’s biggest fan because He is mine.  I want to be more than a spectator or the radio announcer with a list of facts and trivia.  I don’t want to be a fake fan.  I want to be a true fan and have an active relationship with the One Who loves me even though I don’t deserve it and can never earn it.  He loves me just because I am me.  He loves my “Ms. Hale” side just as much as He loves my “Mary Beth” side.  Hmm… maybe I shouldn’t call “Mary Beth” a loser, then.  What about you?  Are you a spectator or a true fan?  Do you have two (or more) sides to you?  Is some part of you different than how it used to be?  Is there something in you that you want to change?  “Mary Beth” and “Ms. Hale” may have different methods of expression and different personalities, but when it comes down to it, Mary Beth Hale—the whole of me—loves Jesus, and I can be confident in His love for me.  When I feel like a bad fan, He doesn’t see me that way.  Just like if I were to ever attend a meet-and-greet with Lzzy Hale, she’s not going to check to see if I know everything about her life and music… she’s going to give me a hug, let me take a photo with her, and thank me for coming (well, that’s what it looks like on YouTube anyway).  I may miss things sometimes, but God is always looking out for me.  And He does the same for you.

This time of year is when TV watchers all over the country feel the rush of participating in live entertainment from the comfort of their homes.  The America’s Got Talent (from here on in referred to as AGT) Live Shows will wrap up their quarter finals this coming Tuesday on NBC, and I know I’ve got my app ready to go when vote time goes live!  If you aren’t familiar with the show, AGT is a talent competition where people from all over the world go to Los Angeles to showcase their talent.  They perform in an auditorium in front of an audience and 4 celebrity judges—the most notable and most popular of which is Simon Cowell.  Often times, a short video package will be cut in to be played for the television audience that gives a little backstory to the act.  If the performance receives a “yes” from at least 3 out of the 4 judges, the act goes on to the next round of auditions.  After two audition rounds, the remaining acts perform live, and the folks at home have an opportunity to express their opinion of the performances in the form of voting for who they want to see again/who they would like to see win.  There are Quarter Finals, Semi-Finals, and then The Finals episodes for America to vote for their favorites.  The winner receives one million dollars and a headlining show in Las Vegas.  During the performances, if the judges greatly dislike a performance, they can press a button to light up a Red X and produce a very negative buzzer sound.  If an act has all 4 judges hit their Red X, the act is automatically over.  On the flip, each judge is allowed to hit a Golden Buzzer once each season.  This Golden Buzzer is for an act the judge absolutely loves, feels deserves the opportunity to skip over the second round of auditions, and go straight to the Live Shows.  It’s a big deal.

Okay so now that we have the background out of the way… In the last few years that I have been into watching the show, my favorite AGT act so far is an incredibly talented musician.  A couple of years prior to seeing her on AGT, I was in the car with some friends and they were playing a CD of one of the best singers I have ever heard.  I listened for a few minutes because I didn’t want to miss a moment of this amazing voice, then I asked who this person was.  They told me the name of this remarkable musician is Mandy Harvey.  More remarkable still, they told me, is that she cannot hear a thing—she is completely deaf.

Mandy never aspired to being a performer.  On the contrary, she was incredibly shy and even threw up before her first time speaking in public.  She wanted to be a music educator, desiring mostly to work with collegiate level choirs.  But when she lost the last of her hearing during her freshman year of college, she discovered that she was destined for another course in life.

A friend of Mandy’s convinced her to try out for AGT.  She had never watched the show, so she didn’t know much about it.  In her contract/agreement for the show, it was required that the judges not know in advance that she was deaf because she did not want them to have any bias for her performance.  She was among the first acts to perform during the evening session of the first day of filming.  Simon Cowell made it very clear to everyone in attendance that he was not going to use his Golden Buzzer on the first day. The crew decided to test all of the Red X’s right before Mandy’s soundcheck, then tested them again just before she went out on stage to perform.  I would have been a nervous wreck with the timing of all of that going on, but she was ready to go on out there and do her thing.

Watch this clip of her first AGT audition here.  Even if you’ve seen it before, watch it again, then come back here and keep reading.  😜

Again, Mandy had never seen the show, so she didn’t know what exactly the Golden Buzzer was, only that everyone was freaking out and it was obviously a wonderful thing.  People kept telling her that she was going straight through to the Live Shows, but she didn’t know exactly what that meant, either.  She found out soon enough, and made it all the way to the Finals!  She is also one of only 5 people up to that point who the producers allowed to perform their own original music.

Watch this clip of her performance in the Finals, then come back and finish reading.

You’d never know that she was desperately ill with pneumonia during the Live Shows, would you?  Some time spent in the hospital, very high fever, etc.  I wish I could sing that well period, and here she was sounding awesome despite being insanely sick!  There were lots of medics and staff around to help her so that she could still participate in the show.  Before one performance, she was laying down and had to be woken up to go out to perform.  The crew had chairs set up all over the place so that she would not have to walk too far at one time.  All the video packages were also filmed while she was ill, so crew members made sure to dab the sweat off of her and such so she wouldn’t look sick in those clips.  Then after her last performance in the Finals, she went off stage and cried because she didn’t know if any sound came out due to her throat being so inflamed.  She obviously did produce sound, and took 4^th place that season.

Mandy is very witty and funny, and incredibly wise, so I’m going to share a bit of her wisdom with you.  After first losing her hearing, she said that she never lost her faith in the Lord, but she did become bitter and stop talking to Him for a while. She felt like she said all that could be said on the matter, so there was nothing left to say to Him.  She said that we so often try to manipulate God into doing what we want and on our time, but when she changed the focus of her prayers from asking for what she wanted (bring my hearing back, make me “normal” again, etc.) to asking for what she needed (strength, wisdom, etc.), she had new things to say, and things began to change for her.  I love that she eventually told God, “I don’t need this to be the same; I just need to know what to do from here.”  Wow…

“God will use your life, so let Him.”  Allowing God to use your life makes you successful.  Even if there is no money or great public attention attached to it, you are still successful and better than you were before.  Mandy says that she wants to push people to be better, and that she wants others to push her to be better as well.  Shouldn’t we all want that?  Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  Our conversations and interactions with each other are very important, and should be used to improve ourselves and others… to push one another to be better, to help us see how God desires use our lives, to be successful.

The full-time job that Mandy worked and depended on for 9 years let her go after her Golden Buzzer moment aired.  They told her that they didn’t think she would have time for them anymore.  She had to take a leap of faith and trust the Lord to provide.  She said that she had to make so many leaps of faith so often that they eventually stopped scaring her.  She stopped worrying about falling because she knew that even if she did, God was right there with her and it would be okay. God is right there with you, too. Let it be a comfort to you that we are never truly alone.

Being an encouragement to people was all Mandy really wanted out of her AGT audition.  She said that even if she didn’t get the Golden Buzzer, even if she got Xed off instead, someone would still have been encouraged just by the fact that she was there that night; and you never know who may see you and be encouraged by you in your general day-to-day life.  She once said, “I have a certain amount that I can give, and I don’t want any of that stuff left over when I die.” What if we all lived that way? Would anything be different in your life?

What do you have to give?  What are you doing or what can you do to be an encouragement to someone today? Who can you reach out to this week for some tandem sharpening?  What leaps of faith are you needing to make?  Or what leaps are you currently flying through the air with?  I’m making a big leap of faith next week, myself.  Trusting God isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it.  Read Romans 5:3-5.  Are you walking a difficult path right now?  Are you struggling with something, or have a crazy situation going on?  How you handle what life throws at you is your decision, but remember Romans 8:28.  Mandy once said in an interview, “don’t allow yourself be your biggest obstacle,” and isn’t it so true that we do so often allow that? I know I do!  Turn your focus away from what you cannot do (or can no longer do), and focus on what you CAN do. Gosh, that is so hard to do sometimes, but perspective is a wondrous thing. Will you allow God to use your life, even if it doesn’t look the way you think it should?

“You take the good, you take the bad; you take ‘em both and there you have the facts of life (bum bah dah dah dum) the facts of life.”  You’ll be hard pressed to find any true female child of the 80s or 90s who didn’t look forward to hearing that theme song every week.  What sort of trouble would Jo, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie get themselves into and what would Mrs. Garrett teach us/them this week? sigh  Nostalgia.

The Facts of Life was a spin-off of the much-loved Diff’rent Strokes sitcom.  It began with the cross-over character, Mrs. Garrett (played by the late, great Charlotte Rae), being housemother for one of the dormitories of an all-girls boarding school.  That first season isn’t typically as well remembered as season two when Mrs. Garrett is promoted to school dietician, which is what the remainder of the series would work around.  Charlotte was a wonderful and well-loved woman, but she did have a few differences from her character; one being that she would smoke during breaks on set, which was not at all a “Mrs. Garrett” thing to do.  She recalled in a panel interview that her young cast-mates were not too keen on her smoking, and would walk over to her and remove the cigarette from her mouth!  haha  She eventually took their hint.  

Jo Polniaczek (played by Nancy McKeon) is my favorite character.  I wanted to be her when I was a kid… heck, I turned 35 last week and I’d STILL like to be her!  She came riding in from the Bronx on her motorcycle at the beginning of season 2, and her bad influence got her and the 3 other main characters into a heap of trouble in that first episode.  They stole a van, went to jail, and served penance by working in (and living above) the dining hall with Mrs. Garrett.  Nancy McKeon has the most amazing smile, and she made Jo such a dynamic character.  The series casting director, Eve Brandstein, said that Jo is “a tough girl, yet could break your heart.”  She stands up for the little guy, she’s the best mechanic around, street-smart, willing to fight for those she loves… total Boss.  Yet, underneath it all, she has a huge heart.

Blair Warner is Jo’s best frienemy.  The Jo/Blair relationship is one of the best ever written.  Blair (played by Lisa Whelchel) is rich and snobbish from upscale New York City.  Blair was originally set to be “a naive, fast-talking, girl from Texas,” but Lisa delivered a line in such a way during her audition that changed the character into how we know her today.  The contrast of Jo’s upbringing and personality to that of Blair provided tons of hilarious and heartwarming material for the series writers.  The cast says that Lisa has a polar opposite personality from Blair.  I have had the pleasure and privilege of speaking at-length with Lisa on a few occasions, so I can personally confirm that.  Lisa is definitely not snobby, nor self-absorbed.  She is an amazing and truly remarkable lady.

Dorothy Ramsey (better known as Tootie, played by Kim Fields) got around on roller skates the first season in order to try and disguise her being much younger and shorter than the rest of the cast.  Kim already had some good acting experience under her, and was naturally funny, so she was a great casting choice.  Tootie was an aspiring actress, and her best friend in the series is the hilarious Natalie Green (played by Mindy Cohn), an aspiring journalist.  Mindy Cohn was actually a real-life student at a boarding school the production team went to check out for research, in order to display authenticity for the show.  Charlotte Rae said in a panel interview that enjoyed talking to Mindy, and asked her several questions just to hear her “sweet little voice” that became a Natalie trademark.  Charlotte is the one who requested a part be written specifically for Mindy, and we are all incredibly thankful for that!

In a panel interview, Mindy Cohn said that one of the things she can really see from the way fans react to the show (even all these years later) is that it taught young girls how to be good friends with each other.  None of the cast realized at the time just how far this show would reach.  The way the four main girls interact with each other, and the best friend pairs of Jo/Blair and Natalie/Tootie were extremely well written to display their genuine and unapologetic love and affection for each other (no matter what drama may enter the episode), how to resolve conflicts, how to approach sensitive subjects, and how to simply enjoy the company of others while feeling free to just be yourself.  I think we’re missing a lot of that these days.  People are generally afraid to show too much affection for fear of being looked at strangely or giving off an unintended vibe, afraid to deal with conflict or talk about things that may be difficult, and afraid to just simply be themselves and enjoy the people around them.  What a shame!  Your friends are the people you choose to be an active part of your life… why should you fear strange looks, off vibes, open and honest civil discussions, and being yourself?  After all, Romans 12:10 tells us to “love each other with genuine affection” (some translations say, “with brotherly love”).  Your true friends are the ones you should definitely feel comfortable being with and sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy,” so even if your friends telling you the truth and wanting to help you is difficult to hear or painful in some way, that is far better than being coddled by people who just want to please you and don’t have your best interest at heart.  You and your friends may not always agree on everything, and you may even find yourselves really upset with each other on occasion; but remember that “a friend loves at all times” or another translation says “a friend is always loyal” (Proverbs 17:17).  Jesus tells us to love each other the way He loves us (John 15:12), and the apostle Peter encourages us to “…show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

Our four main Facts of Life girls, and even Mrs. Garrett herself, often had to use their deep love for each other to offer forgiveness.  Which character are you most like?  Which character(s) best match the people in your life?  Do you ever find yourself having sitcom events happen with them that you wish would be neatly wrapped up in a half hour span?  Do you ever wish you could feel open enough to truly share your heart?  Pray for the Lord to send people your way who will be true friends to you, and that when you recognize who those people are, you can feel at ease enough to just be yourself.

I learned a long time ago at youth camp that people should have 8-10 loving touches a day.  We all hugged each other afterward and would say out loud which number that person’s hug was and smile.  So go and give a hug, handshake, pat on the shoulder, etc. without fear (if you’re not a touch person, do whatever else it may be that you do to show love).  Speak your heart and mind in confidence that even if you are met with disagreement or correction, you are loved and supported.  Be yourself, allow others to also be themselves, and “encourage each other and build each other up” (1 Thes. 5:11), being a good role model for those around you like our TV friends from childhood.  Who knows what kind of legacy you may leave behind without even knowing it.  

Beginning in 1959 and going all the way up to 1991, watching The Wizard of Oz on TV was an annual event that families looked forward to all year.  Home video in 1980, and more current versions of DVDs, Blu-Rays, and digital downloads have made it easy to watch the iconic 1939 classic film at any time, but there is still something extra fun about watching it as it airs on TV.

Margaret Hamilton is probably best known and remembered for her portrayal of The Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 Oz film.  I also love that she played Morticia Addam’s mother on The Addams Family TV series from the 60s, and the fact that before she started her acting career she was a teacher… but I digress. Our friend Maggie had quite the mishap on the Oz movie set.  After The Wicked Witch of the West (from now on referred to as WWW… which, by the way, was how she signed photos for fans for most of her life) has her first interaction with Dorothy in Munchkinland, she makes her exit in a burst of smoke and flame.  This was meticulously rehearsed, but unfortunately, whoever was operating the fire effect released it too soon.  Maggie was still above the set platform, and that fire effect grabbed part of her hat.  She did not realize initially that her makeup was on fire as crew immediately went to her aid, but it didn’t take long to feel the pain.  She ended up with 2^nd degree burns on her face, and 3^rd degree burns on her hand.

After this terrifying incident, Maggie understandably refused to have anything else to do with smoke and fire, so it was her stand-in, Betty Danko, who filmed some unused footage of the WWW.  The sky-writing message sequence was a bit longer with some additional shots filmed of Betty from the back.  During this filming, the broomstick blew up, sent Betty flying across the sound stage, and crashing to the floor.  She spent some time in the hospital as a result of this incident. 

In a strange similarity, the Broadway musical sensation, Wicked, had its own real-life WWW “melting” moment.  Idina Menzel (more popularly known now as the voice of Queen Elsa in the Disney Frozen franchise) was the original WWW for Wicked, called by the name Elphaba (so named because the initials of the Oz books author, L. Frank Baum, sort of say “elphaba” when you read LFB as a “word” of sorts).  On the night before Idina’s last scheduled performance as Elphaba, there was an accident with the trap door.  Idina fell and crashed, resulting in a cracked rib.  After curtain call the following night, which again was supposed to be her last performance, she came out to take her final bow and said to the audience, “I love you all.  It’s been the best year of my life.  Thank you.”

Have you ever been doing something you love and enjoy and have a mishap occur?  Maybe you didn’t get physically hurt like our WWW friends, but mental and emotional hurts can be just as painful.  When you think about the activity, is that hurt the one thing that stands out to you?  Did you stop participating in the activity as a result of the injury?  No one can blame Margaret Hamilton for staying away from anything to do with smoke and fire after her injury and near-death experience.  Her cautious actions actually saved her from experiencing another injury!  There is nothing wrong with exercising caution and using wisdom and common sense to keep yourself out of harm’s way.  However, is that negative experience enough to keep you from the thing you loved?  Is that the only thing that comes to mind when looking back?  Margaret Hamilton wasn’t trying to rush into fire again, but she didn’t walk off the movie.  She loved the Oz books, and wanted to be a part of the film.  Idina Menzel wasn’t thrilled with having her own injury, but that one incident didn’t make her have a negative view of her time playing Elphaba.  Remember her final words to the audience?  And even all these years later, she still opens most of her live shows with a medley of Wicked songs.

As humans, we tend to dwell on the negative.  I’ll be the first to raise my hand to admit I do a lot of that.  We can often let one negative experience turn us completely away from something that could be amazing.  I worked at a pretty awful school once, and it really made me doubt myself as a teacher.  My boisterous “Ms. Hale” persona didn’t fit in, so colleagues sabotaged my work, and a whole mess of other stupid that I’m not diving into right now.  Holding an out-of-state teaching certificate caused me to have to leave the classroom anyway, but I was thrilled to be out of that environment.  Many years passed, and when the opportunity to be a teacher again presented itself, I was worried.  Sure, I had been using my skills as an educator all along in every job I had, but “Ms. Hale” had been forced into a storage closet never to be seen again.  Can I still do it?  Would anyone even want me now?  God showed me that I do “still have it” and I am still desired by having more than one school interview me and really like me.  One school that ended up going with another applicant (who holds a higher degree than I possess), even told another school that they needed to interview me because I impressed them so and they liked me so much.  That made me feel amazing!  God really blessed me with a great support group diving back into the world to education this past year.  I could have easily completely given up on ever being a traditional teacher again, and that would have been fine.  Who could blame me after all my last school had done?  But despite all the hurt and bad experiences, my heart never left the classroom.  I never stopped wanting to be “Ms. Hale” and would often look back on all the good and wonderful things that happened while I was a teacher.  Now, I have a whole new world of good things ahead!  Did I have issues this past year?  Yep.  But if you ask me about my first year back, I’m only going to tell you about the wonderful people I worked with, the hilarious interactions with them and students, and how one of my fellow faculty members set me up on my very first date.  Why?  Because that is what stands out.  The stressors of being a teacher and all that goes with it are greatly overshadowed by the reason I wanted to be a teacher in the first place.

What about you?  It may not be job-related, but do you have any experiences in your life that caused you to turn away from or give up on something or someone you love?  I’m not talking about repeated abuse or any of those obviously bad things that you should never go back to; I’m talking about things and people that truly make your heart happy.  The Bible says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galations 6:9).  The Lord also tells us through the prophet Isaiah, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (41:10).  If you truly feel a calling on your life, or are involved with people, activities, etc. that bring you true joy and you feel deep within you that you need to stick it out with, yet experience some kind of setback, problem, or trouble; then ask the Lord for His wisdom.  He will give you the strength to keep pushing forward through the difficulties, or the wisdom to step back.  No matter what may try to “melt” you, remember that the Lord has great plans for you that are good and not evil, to give you a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11).  May this help you to “Be on guard.  Stand firm in the faith.  Be courageous.  Be strong,” (1 Corinthians 16:13) no matter what fire or trap doors you encounter in life.

Bonnie Tyler has been in the music industry for around 50 years.  That is an incredible accomplishment!  In all of those years though, she is likely best known for her chart-topping 1983 power ballad “Total Eclipse of the Heart” written by Jim Steinman.  At it’s height of popularity, the single sold approximately 60,000 copies a day!  Bonnie Tyler tells almost every interviewer that even though she has performed the song thousands of times over the years, she still loves it. She also still performs it at every concert she gives.  I often hear the song on the radio and never get tired of it, as do countless other people all over the world.

It’s a pretty trippy song, though, right?  I mean, what is it even about?  Honestly, for many people, that open-to-interpretation confusion is just a part of the song’s appeal.  Ask 10 fans what they think of the song, and you are likely to receive 10 different responses.  It’s a love song, sure, but what’s the story there?  The seriously insane music video doesn’t offer fans any clue, but adds even more to the classic melodramatic nature of the 80s.  If you have never seen it, take a minute to watch it here.

Regardless of its actual storyline, it is one of the most popular songs from the 80s.  Most people know a line or two from it, or can at least sing along with the “turn around bright eyes” background vocal.  But would it help answer a few questions about its meaning to know that Jim Steinman had originally started writing this song for another project?

As studied and iconic as “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is to rock music, the 1922 German silent film Nosferatu is to the film industry.  The producers of Nosferatu knew that they couldn’t afford to acquire the rights of the “Dracula” story from Bram Stoker’s estate, so the big dummies thought that changing a few odds and ends would be enough to keep them safe from copyright infringement.  They were sadly mistaken, and Bram Stoker’s widow sued the fool out of the studio.  Part of the lawsuit included that all copies of the film had to be destroyed, but some copies had already made their way out of Germany, and at least one into the United States.  

One of the key alterations they made to the “Dracula” storyline is one that continues to be popular in vampire lore even today:  vampires cannot live in the sunlight.  Indeed, Nosferatu was the first vampire tale to include that element of vulnerability.  The film itself is arguably the best adaptation of the classic Bram Stoker novel, but Nosferatu is also widely studied in film schools across the globe, and is most regarded for the visual qualities of the film.  Director F.W. Murnau was truly ahead of his time making this cult-classic.  He made the most of his limited budget by filming on-location.  The special effects and technical components he used such as playing around with frame rates and stop-motion, using negative prints to create a dramatic background, and pioneering the intercutting of events that occur at the same time, are just some of the things I could geek-out over for hours.  Acclaimed film critic, Roger Ebert, put it best when he explained that it’s not so much that the film is scary (though back in the 20s, those movie-goers may beg to differ), but everything the filmmakers put into it makes haunting a better description.  Just do yourself a favor and swallow your eye-rolling pride about watching a silent film, and go watch it.  I’m pretty sure it’s free with Amazon Prime.

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Jim Steinman had been working on a musical version of Nosferatu when he wrote the song, “Vampires in Love.”  He eventually completed the song after meeting Bonnie Tyler, and it became the epic “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”  Does knowing that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is really more about vampire love change anything about the way you hear it or see that tripped-out music video?  Maybe, maybe not.  It is still very open to interpretation, and again, that is still part of what makes the song so appealing.

Like the song for a musical turning into a ballad for the ages, have you ever had something in your life begin as one thing, then end up becoming something else?  I have.  I went to school to be a music teacher, but I have never taught music professionally.  Being a special ed teacher was never even on my radar, but it has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life.  The Bible says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (Proverbs 16:9).  I feel like I would have been a good music teacher, and I could still be someday if that opportunity presents itself, but God knew that being a special ed teacher was where I really needed to be right out of college, and right now in the present.  Had I not studied music ed, I may not have met all the people instrumental in leading me along the path God had planned out for me.  He knows what He’s doing.  He’s just cool like that.  Maybe His path for me will lead to a music classroom someday in the future, but whether it does or does not, I know that God has my best interests, so I’m good with whatever.

On the flip-side, have you ever had something bad turn into something good?  The story of Joseph can be found in the Bible in Genesis chapters 37-50.  Joseph’s brothers couldn’t stand him.  They sold him into slavery, and lied to their dad saying that Joseph had been killed by an animal.  Joseph went through many years of awful stuff, but he ended up being in the right places at the right times to eventually save the country of Egypt and all the surrounding lands from a terrible, seven-year famine.  In forgiving his brothers, Joseph told them that what they had intended for evil, God used for good (Genesis 50:20a).

What’s going on in your life right now?  For better or worse, sometimes our plans don’t work out how we think they should.  Whether it’s something bad turning good (the story of Joseph), or something good turning better (the “Total Eclipse of the Heart” song, and my teaching career), we can trust that God has great plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and that the end result will be better than we could have ever imagined!  Ask the Lord to show you the good or better in your situations.  He’ll let you know where to go (Proverbs 3:6).

In 1937, Charles Addams drew his first entry for The New Yorker of the characters that would eventually come to be known as “The Addams Family” to the general populace.  A couple of decades later, a chance sighting in a bookstore of a collection of these great cartoon works of art sparked the idea of a TV series featuring the family.  Part of the deal was that Mr. Addams had to give names to each character, so he drew out each family member and wrote the name he chose along with a detailed description of their personality for the writers of the show to reference (below is a photo of the principal cast of the television series).  Mr. Addams often visited the set during filming of the TV series that ran from 1964-1966—a set that included some ancient weaponry and other oddities that were similar to the ones that could be found in his own personal collection at his home.  He had unusual interests, and his drawings were different than what most people would consider creating, so that made people thinks all sorts of things about him that were untrue.  Contrary to popular belief, Charles Addams loved children.  Even though they were 5-and-a-half and 8 years old when filming the pilot, the actors who played Wednesday and Pugsley have good memories of him being very kind and attentive to them, and those who knew him best say that he would have never included children in his drawings if he didn’t like them.  

John Astin, who played Gomez Addams that 1960s TV series, spoke in an interview on the DVD special features about what psychologists had written and discussed concerning the Addams Family as a family unit, “…while they’re odd on the outside, on the inside they are human beings, who care about other human beings.”  They may be incredibly weird by most standards, but they don’t seem to notice or be bothered by it.  In the first episode of the series, a truant officer named Mr. Hilliard comes to the Addams house because Pugsley and Wednesday have never been to school.  While walking around the house with Gomez, Mr. Hilliard encounters Grandmama and Uncle Fester throwing knives at a target on a statue.  Upon opening the door, Mr. Hilliard barely misses having a knife plunge right into him!  He runs out of the house screaming, and Grandmama asks Gomez, “What’s the matter with your friend?” while they all stand there confused at Mr. Hilliard’s behavior.  Later on when Gomez and Morticia are at the school speaking with some of the administrators, Morticia says, “Wasn’t that, that nice Mr. Hilliard?  He certainly is an odd one, isn’t he?  Why, do you know that he suddenly ran out of our house the other day?  Frightened by a simple game of darts!”  haha  

Everyone in the Addams Family is confident in who they are, and are unaffected by the negative opinions of those around them.  They don’t feel the need to impress or win/earn the admiration, affection, attention, or anything else from anyone they encounter.  In my point of view, they don’t feel the need to earn it because, in their mind, they already have it.  That, my friends, is the biggest take-away I get from the show.  

That word:  friend.  Strange things—words.  They can have the same general meaning, but have very different depths of meaning from one person to the next.  This came up in a conversation I had with someone recently.  To me, “friend” is an incredibly special word.  I caution those I meet who use that word in reference to me.  I tell them, “Be careful about using that word.  If you use that magic F word and call me your friend, you’re stuck.  For life.  And there’s no going back.”  I was in my late teens before people really started to call me their “friend,” and it was such a foreign concept to me.  I thought that it must be a very special thing, and never something to be used lightly.  The same with the words, “I love you.”  So I am never the first to call someone a “friend,” or the first to say, “I love you” to someone for fear of being seen as too forward, or making things awkward, or some other negative, nonsense thought.  I may instantly regard someone as my friend, and quickly develop genuine love toward someone (beyond loving them just because all life has value), but I am always afraid to express it until the other person does.

What are your thoughts about those words?  Perhaps we can all take a cue from the Addams family and see the people of the world as friends without even knowing them.  Consider everyone our friend, and not be afraid to express our love for them, whether they feel the same way or not.  Even in my kindergarten class, the lead teacher always uses the word “friend” rather than “classmate” or something like that when having the students work together, so why not have that child-like regard for each other even as adults?  After all, “A friend loves at all times…” (Proverbs 17:17a), and Jesus, Himself, said, “This is my commandment:  Love each other in the same way I have loved you,” (John 15:12).  

When I was in Japanese class in high school, we asked our teacher (who was from Japan) how to say “I love you” when it was close to Valentine’s Day.  She gave us a phrase to use (which she said really means “I like you”), but said that they don’t really feel the need to say things like that to each other; that you know how someone feels about you by the way they act when they are around you.  I don’t know if that is completely true, or if she was just saying that to discourage declarations of love from silly teenagers, but the concept is true all the same.  You can tell those who use “I love you” flippantly or as just something to say to people, and those who genuinely mean it.  Why be afraid to say something good that you truly feel?  It may be just what someone needs to hear that day, and Proverbs 18:4 says, “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”  Further evidence of this can also be found in Proverbs were it says, “Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person’s lips bring satisfaction” (18:20).  Perhaps I have made too much out of something simple, and in my efforts to be liked and accepted, I have further alienated myself from those who would care… and made myself more awkward rather than less so.  Life is full of lessons, and we never stop learning.  I should have learned more from Steve Urkel about being myself (read that entry here), but who would have thought another great teacher would be macabre comic-strip-cartoon-turned-TV-sensation characters!  Just like them, you and I may be “creepy, kooky, mysterious, and spooky,” but we are perfect just the way we are, and who cares what anyone else thinks! The One Who created you says so, too! He loves you more than you can ever imagine, and nothing can keep you from His love for you (Romans 8:38-39)!  

Growing up in church prior to projectors and other fancy technology, I am no stranger to songbooks and good-old-fashioned hymnals.  “Old hymns,” as they are now commonly referred, may contain forms of words/phrases that are no longer used since language has evolved over time, but the messages contained within those classic songs are timeless and remarkable.

The Great Chicago Fire of 1871 caused the deaths of around 300 people, and destroyed just under 3 and a half square miles of the city.  The fire even jumped over the river twice, and caused devastation to the buildings of the city which were primarily constructed out of wood.  By the time the fire started to burn itself out and merciful rain began to fall, over 100,000 people were homeless.

Horatio Spafford had many real estate investments throughout the city of Chicago that were ruined by the Great Chicago Fire.  This financial blow came not too long after Horatio suffered the much deeper pain of the loss of his 4-year-old son to scarlet fever.  Two years after the Fire, the Spafford family planned a vacation to England.  Horatio had to wrap up some business at home, so he sent his wife and their four daughters on ahead, planning to join them a little later on.  The ship never made it to England, nor did the four little Spafford girls.  Horatio’s wife was rescued, and sent a telegraph to her husband telling him what happened.  Horatio left Chicago immediately to join his wife in England.  The captain of the ship sent for Horatio when they arrived at the point in their journey where the tragic shipwreck had occurred.  But instead of being filled with sadness and all sorts of other negative emotions he could understandably wrap himself in, Horatio was comforted, and filled with feelings of hope.  In this place where he could have so easily succumbed to grief—instead, he penned the beginning of one of the greatest hymns ever written:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

The Bible says for us to “be thankful in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18a).  Some translations say, “in everything give thanks.”  Wow, did Horatio ever embody this!  The powerful words he wrote after enduring such tragic personal and professional losses can take the stage along side of Job from the Old Testament!  Are you able to truly be thankful no matter what bad or crazy stuff is going on in your life?  I could say it is totally the easiest thing ever to do, but I’m not a huge fan of saying things that aren’t true.  It can be incredibly difficult to find the positive in situations!  Practice with the little things, so that when big things come around, maybe it wont be so hard.  I am certainly no expert in this field, but take for example, every two years, I get a haircut and donate 10 inches of my hair.  I missed that “Being a Girl 101” class when I was a child, so I don’t know much about dealing with my hair.  I can keep it clean, but that’s about as far as I go with it.  So as it gets longer and longer, I become more and more annoyed trying to care for it.  Specifically, trying to get it untangled.  I often feel the need to repent for what I do and say while combing it out immediately following a shower and while blow-drying it, but there is a great opportunity in those times for me to give thanks that I have hair at all.  Some people without hair would LOVE to deal with tangles because having tangles would mean that they have hair!  Life’s peaceful rivers may be crazy right now and turned into sorrowful seas with all of this COVID-19 business, but can you think of something to be thankful for right now?  “Be thankful in all circumstances.”

Later on in the “It Is Well with My Soul” hymn, Horatio writes:

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part, but the whole

Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Read that again, and really think about it.  As we approach Easter weekend, stop and think about the fact that we don’t have to carry the weight of our sins!  Jesus didn’t die just so that SOME of our sins can be forgiven; He died so that ALL of our sins can be forgiven!  The WHOLE thing!  ALL of it!  As children of God, we no longer carry that burden because it was all taken care of on the cross (1 Peter 3:18)!  What a “glorious thought” indeed!

If you haven’t yet accepted God’s free gift of salvation, there is no time like the present!  Even if you have already, are you still holding on to feelings of guilt or shame from your past?  The apostle Paul says in his letter to the Romans, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death” (8:1-2).  It is “nailed to His cross, and [you] bear it no more,” as Horatio wrote!  Praise the Lord indeed!  Don’t dwell on your past; God doesn’t.  Fully accept His love and forgiveness, be thankful no matter what the circumstances may be, and may we all be able to say, “it is well with my soul.”

People can be so cruel.  At times, even those who are closest to us can hurt us deeply.  It is easy to become bitter, hold on to our hurt and/or anger, and harbor unforgiveness in our hearts.  We may even turn these feelings outward and strike out at others, creating a vicious cycle of pain and resentment.  Have you ever experienced any of that?

In 1847, Charlotte Bronte’s classic novel Jane Eyre was published.  It was originally titled, “Jane Eyre:  an Autobiography” and used the pseudonym Currer Bell as the author.  The story is not an autobiography of Charlotte Bronte, though it is commonly believed that many of the elements of the setting, as well as Bronte’s personal attendance of a rather uninviting boarding school, inspired parts of the storyline.  In the book, Jane experiences a lot of hardship in her life, including losing her parents as a child, not being loved by her family who took her in, being sent to a horrible and abusive boarding school, and falling in love with a man who she cannot morally bring herself to marry.  One of the themes that runs throughout the book is one of forgiveness.  As she goes through life, Jane learns to forgive the harshness of her childhood and youth, and enjoys what life has to offer when you are free of the burden of unforgiveness.

The creative team of “Jane Eyre:  the Musical” enjoyed five Tony Award nominations, though it only ran for 209 performances before closing.  Famous singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette donated $150,000 worth of tickets to the show to various charities as a display of the friendship she had with composer/lyricist Paul Gordon.  This donation allowed the show to remain open for the 2001 television broadcast of the Tony Awards.

The musical includes many direct quotes from the novel, and addresses the “gentle audience” of the show in the same first-person manner as the “gentle reader” of the book.  Early in the show, when Young Jane is at the boarding school, she makes a friend named Helen who is the first to explain the importance of forgiveness her:

Helen (Young Jane)

You mustn’t be revengeful (She would deserve it, and so would he!)

You have to be strong

To offer good for evil (They should be the ones to suffer!)

Return right for wrong

We must not hold a grudge

And we must learn to endure (I will never learn)

Then as God is your judge (You should learn to strike back at them!)

At least your heart will be pure 

Forgiveness

Is the mightiest sword

Forgiveness of those you hate

Will be your highest reward

The song goes on, and Young Jane says that she will never forgive her horrible aunt, Mrs. Reed, nor will she ever bless her son, John.  However, later on toward the end of the show, when Jane learns of John’s death, she offers a blessing to him.  She also forgives Mrs. Reed: 

Jane (Mrs. Reed)

(I have cheated you)

I do not hold a grudge (No, you must!)

These are the things of the past (I have robbed you of any chance of happiness)

And for your soul to be free (My soul is in hell)

You must accept this at last

Forgiveness

Is your only way free

Forgiveness

Of yourself is your forgiveness from me

(I will never comprehend.  Never.)

You must pray

For God to bring you peace

And come what may

Forgiveness is your release

In season 5 of American Idol, the popular singer/songwriter Mandisa finished as the 9^th place finalist.  One of her most memorable moments on the show, however, was during the initial audition process when crass judge, Simon Cowell, upon seeing Mandisa for the first time, hurled the insulting question, “Do we have a bigger stage this year?” to the other judges in reference to her weight.  After greatly impressing all judges (including Simon) with her amazing voice, Mandisa left the audition.  When she returned to hear the result of her audition, she opened up by saying to Simon, “I want you to know that I’ve forgiven you.  And that you don’t need someone to apologize in order to forgive somebody,” and continued on to say that if Jesus could die so that her wrongs could be forgiven, then she could extend that same grace to forgive Simon.  He was certainly brought down to size after that!

The Bible says in Daniel 9:9 that, “the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.”  What amazing love!  I have to be on the receiving end of that daily.  Okay, several times a day!  When we do something wrong, then ask the Lord to forgive us, He removes our sins from us as far away as the east is from the west (Psalms 103:12)!  That is such a fascinating concept.  When travelling north to south, there is a definite point where you stop going north and begin going south, and vice versa.  North Carolina is always north of Georgia.  New Mexico is always south of Alaska.  However, let’s go from Georgia to California (west).  California to Japan (west).  Japan to India (west).  India to Great Britain (west).  Great Britain to Georgia (west).  We went all the way around the entire globe and never went east!  You can do the same thing the other direction.  There is no definite point where west ends and east begins, nor where east ends and west begins.  The psalmist David made an amazing point with this analogy that when God forgives you, there is no end to that forgiveness.  The Lord says that He will remember our sins no more (Hebrews 10:17)!  Indeed, God says in Isaiah 1:18 that “though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.”  Have you ever tried to get a blood stain out of white clothes?  I had nose bleeds all the time as a child, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that I should never wear white shirts!  Now, my mom is a rockstar with laundry, but those white shirts were never the same.  But God is so amazing, and His love and forgiveness so great, that there is not even a hint of the stain of sin that remains!  Wow!  That is something to be excited about! 

In Ephesians 4:31-32 the Apostle Paul says to, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”  Do you have someone in your life who needs your forgiveness?  Can you extend a similar grace that Mandisa gave to Simon Cowell?  Even if the person/people who wronged you never apologize or ask you to forgive them, will you do it anyway?  Even if it has been many years, can you forgive someone who intentionally sabotaged you the way Jane Eyre forgave her aunt, Mrs. Reed?  Are you the one in need of forgiveness?  What can you do to try to clear the air?  Have you accepted the forgiveness of your Heavenly Father that He freely and openly extends to you?  What will you do differently in the future once you receive forgiveness?  It’s a lot to think about, for sure, but take the time because it is so important.  It can be scary to ask forgiveness, or even approach someone to extend it.  But take courage from the last part of the song from Young Jane’s friend Helen:

You must never lose faith

You must never lose heart

God will restore your trust

And I know you’re afraid

I’m as scared as you are

But willing to be brave

Brave enough for love

There are three… count them… THREE ladies at the school where I teach who are with-child.  What an amazing and exciting thing it is to be expecting a new life to enter the outside world!  While I will never have children of “my own,” and at the expense of possibly damaging my reputation 😜, I must admit that I am a very good aunt, great-aunt, and honorary aunt.  With 4 nieces, 2 great-nephews, and 38 honorary nieces & nephews (offspring of my friends), I have had decades of experience with the littles.  I am also blessed with great physical strength, am notoriously over-protective, and never play favorites.  So take in all of that information, and it shouldn’t be surprising that whenever someone around me is pregnant, that lady automatically gains a body-guard, watch-dog, and obnoxious little sister (regardless of her age) whether she likes it or not.

The TV series Family Matters ran from 1989 until 1998.  It has one of the best-known and well-loved characters of the time:  Steve Urkel.  The character of Steve was intended to be a one-time guest, but he was so popular with the audience, that the writers made him a regular character on the series.  If you aren’t familiar with the show… A.  Go watch it! and B.  just to explain a bit, the character of Steve Urkel is a stereotypical “nerd” guy, and a daily intrusion on his neighbors… whether they like it or not.

Steve Urkel is the next-door neighbor of the Winslow family.  Though he always means well, Steve is socially awkward and rather clumsy, so he often causes a great deal of trouble for the Winslow family rather than providing the assistance he intended.  Steve is also very intelligent, and later in the series, he creates a machine to suppress his nerd-side and enhance his cool-side.  The result of Steve entering this machine is the exit of his alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle.  Steve goes back and forth between his regular form and his Stefan form over several episodes, and eventually Stefan proposes to his/Steve’s love interest from the series, Laura Winslow.  Laura accepts the proposal, but later on chooses the original Steve over Stefan.

Steve compared himself to others, and what he thought his beloved Laura would want, and then he changed himself to be such.  Sure it was good for a while, but he found out that he, in his natural form (nerdy, awkward, pest of a personality and all), was truly loved and desired more than the changed version of himself.  Isn’t that like us, though?  As humans, we often compare ourselves to others and either find ourselves lacking, or feel as if we are better than those around us; rather than focusing on all the good we and others have to offer just by being our own unique selves.  In Galatians 5:26, the apostle Paul says, “Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”  Everyone is special and wonderful, and everyone has something great to offer the world.  Just because something is different, doesn’t mean that it isn’t good or worthy.  It’s funny that as I pondered this blog entry, my sister spoke on this exact topic at church yesterday.  Perhaps it’s something we all need to be reminded of in our daily living. 

God created each of us perfect and unique in His image (Psalm 139:13-14, Genesis 1:27).  Our personalities are not a surprise to our Creator.  Can we get a bit off and need someone to lovingly guide us to the right path?  Yes.  That is the story of my life!  But quirks and oddities are just part of what makes us who we are.  You will never please everyone, and there is no need to change who you are in order to try to satisfy everyone you meet.  Just as Steve Urkel discovered, you’ll find that those who are meant to walk with you through life will love you just as you are, and will always prefer the real you over a fabricated you.

Don’t waste your life comparing what used to be to what is current.  Don’t waste your life comparing yourself to someone else, and don’t take it to heart if someone else does the comparing of you.  Jaleel White, the actor who played Steve Urkel, does not define himself by that character.  Sure, he is the source of much nostalgia for 90s kids, and in interviews he has said that he has no issues with people recognizing him as such.  He embraces that part of his life, but he has also grown and continued on in life.  He has a 10-year-old child of his own now, and children of the 2000s and 2010s have very different interests in entertainment than the sitcoms of their parents and grandparents.  What is the point in comparing then to now?  Why limit this man to a character he played in his youth?  He doesn’t take to heart what other people want to see in him.  The important thing is to be confident in who you are and in Who’s you are.  See yourself and others the way Jesus does.  He sees you and those around you as someone so special He was willing to give His life to save.  

I don’t know anyone more awkward than I am.  Thankfully, the Lord has provided me with great family and friends who lovingly explain when my words and/or actions are not socially acceptable, and provide alternatives should the situation present itself again in the future.  Do I always learn my lesson?  Nope.  I can be pretty dense when it comes to those things.  However, those who know me best and love me most know that no matter what, I always mean well and always have the purest of intentions… similar to Steve Urkel and the Winslow’s.  I may annoy those poor pregnant women with my frequent check-ins and spazzing out over their carrying anything heavier than a coffee mug, but hopefully the fact that I care about their well-being, and that of the precious cargo they carry, outweighs how much of a pest I am.  😉 Thankfully, they are all absolutely wonderful and very good sports, just like the ever-patient Winslow family. 😊

Steve Urkel has the brain, and I have the brawn… and we’re both fiercely loyal and protective in our own ways.  Despite our awkwardness, we are loved for who we are.  Do you, like me, have a bit of Steve Urkel in you?  Are you like the Winslow family and have a Steve Urkel in your life?  Read Colossians 3:13-17.  Do you make allowance for the faults of others?  Do you have people in your life who make allowance for yours?  Or do you find comparisons from yourself and others consuming your life?  Take some time today to make a point of looking at yourself through the eyes of the Lord.  Be excited about what you have to offer the world rather than feeling superior or inferior to others.  Do the same for those around you and look at them the way God does.  Build up and encourage those around you rather than being envious or prideful.  So what if you’re a bit weird and awkward or have talents, interests, or whatever that are vastly different from what others expect of you?  Those quirks and oddities make you the wonderful, remarkable YOU!  A special YOU that God has created for a grand purpose in this life!  A purpose that has been in the work since long before your mother had to be mindful about how much weight she carries, what she should and should not eat and drink, and the possibility of over-protective people in her life constantly checking in.  😆  That purpose, my dears, is something to celebrate!

Gaston Leroux is probably best known in this area of the world as the author of “The Phantom of the Opera” novel.  It was originally published in 1908 as a series of entries in newspapers in France (and England and America got in on it, too); then the novel came about in 1911.  The story has had many adaptations over the years, but the most notable to me are the 1925 silent film, and of course, the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.  The story centers around a singer, Christine, who is coached by an unseen teacher (the Phantom—in the novel, his name is Erik) who becomes obsessed with her.  Erik is not thrilled when Christine’s childhood friend, Raoul, attends a performance at the Paris Opera House, hears Christine sing, and sparks Raoul’s love for her again.

The character of the Phantom is severely disfigured, and hides his face behind a mask.  In the 1925 silent film, Lon Chaney portrayed the Phantom.  Lon Chaney did his own make-up for the film, and it was absolutely top secret.  Even the actress playing Christine did not see it until they shot the scene where she takes off his mask.  The story goes that the reaction you see on-screen is her true and authentic reaction to seeing him for the first time in complete make-up.

The Phantom of the Opera is the longest-running musical on Broadway, and the 2^nd longest-running on the West End after Les Misérables.  It is the 3^rd longest running show on the West End, with Les Mis being in the number 2 slot, and Agatha Christie’s play The Mousetrap taking the number 1 position (you know I couldn’t resist throwing in a little Agatha Christie in there).

I remember going to see the film adaptation of the ALW musical when I was a student at Emmanuel.  I enjoyed it, though I was incredibly disappointed with the make-up job of the Phantom.  I mean, seriously?  You had all the talent and resources of the film and theatre worlds, and all you could come up with was him looking slightly like he has burn scars?  The book describes the Phantom’s appearance to be as if he were a walking corpse—terrifying to behold.  That is not even close to what they did for the 2004 film, but whatever… I still really liked the movie.

One of the friends I went to see the movie with was not familiar with the story when we went in to see it.  After the film ended, she said she wasn’t really sure how she was feeling; that the story left her unsure of how to view the characters.  That is totally understandable.  There is the ever-amusing “Team Phantom” and “Team Raoul” banter amongst fans, which is evidence of the different ways you could perceive the characters.  One thing that can be said, though, is that while the Phantom definitely did not go about it the right way, everything he did, he did out of love for Christine.  I wrote a paper about that in Christian Ethics class my sophomore year at Emmanuel (and I made a 98 on that paper, by the way), but I’ll spare you the level of ethical content my teacher required (mostly because I honestly can’t remember it haha).

The Phantom was socially awkward, didn’t understand love, wanted to be a helper and protector, and desired attention.  Hmmm… sound like a weird-o you know?  While my misguided love was not romantic, it was nonetheless an unhealthy obsession that turned into my greatest learning moment.

I have a wonderful family full of love in every sense of the word.  However, I did not really make friends until college, so I didn’t understand what love was from anyone apart from my family.  I was quite lonely, and much like the Phantom, socially awkward, and desired attention and the usefulness of being a protector.  At 12 years old (almost 13… I turned 13 the following week), I went to summer camp for what I thought would be the last time because I had never really had a good time there.  But a beautiful and popular 16-year-old cabin counselor changed my mind and helped me have my first good camp experience.  Her name is Andrea, and I had seen her in years past.  My first thought upon entering cabin 4B and seeing her sitting on the counselor’s bed was, “oh no… anyone but her” knowing that most beautiful and popular older kids were not usually very nice to chubby and weird kids like me.  She surprised me, though.  She showed me and all of the other girls in cabin 4B genuine interest and attention. 

On the last day of camp, Andrea said, “now you guys make sure you write to me, okay?” and everyone sort of mumbled some “sure I’ll write” affirmation without any real intention of doing so.  Never being one to be witty or funny, I had a “funny” thought and made the joking promise to write her every Tuesday.  She looked at me strangely for a second, then smiled and said she looked forward to it.  I had to leave camp a little early for some reason, so when my mom came to pick me up, I had to find Andrea and have her open the cabin for me to get my stuff.  She handed me the key, I went with my mom to load my stuff in the car, then returned the key to Andrea.  When I handed the key back, Andrea reminded me of my bizarre promise (that I had already forgotten about), “Bye, Mary Beth!  Every Tuesday, right?”  I smiled thinking I might do it for like a month, but this joke of a promise is one that I ended up keeping for over two years.

During the course of writing letters every week to Andrea, calling her on the phone, and following her around at camp and any other events held at the campgrounds, I developed (what I realized much too late was) an obsession with her.  I thought I was just being a good friend and protector, but what I was actually being was creepy.  Over time, things happened and she cut off communication with me.  I was devastated.  Day after day, I prayed with a shattered heart asking God what happened and what I could do to get her back.

I happenstance started going to a new church not too long after the cut-off occurred, and the pastor’s daughter was another person I knew from camp… who happened to be really close friends with Andrea.  I did talk to her about it some, but she couldn’t offer me any resolution.  I don’t know exactly how much time passed, but I remember getting to church early one Sunday night (so I had to have been 16 to have driven myself there early) and just walking around, killing time before service.  I walked through the empty building praying, and once again asked God what happened with Andrea.  As I walked down the main aisle between pews in the sanctuary, I literally felt like I had been whacked with something right in the face.  And almost audibly (but not quite), I heard God very clearly say that everything blew up with Andrea because I was thinking more of her than I was of Him.  Wow.  I fell to my knees out of deep remorse and asked God to forgive me.  I was heartbroken that I had done such to the Lord I love so dearly.  I asked that He allow me to make it right, and I promised Him that I would never allow that to happen again.

I hated the thought of facing Andrea, but she deserved to hear what I had learned since I put her through so much.  I told the pastor’s daughter what I had learned, and asked her to help me speak to Andrea at an upcoming event at the campgrounds because Andrea would quite literally run away when I would go near her.  So the event came, and I was a nervous wreck.  I knew what I had to do, but was not excited about it.  The pastor’s daughter arranged for Andrea to see me.  I told Andrea that I knew she didn’t want to talk to me, but I had to speak with her.  I told her that I realized that everything bad that happened with us was because I was focusing too much on her and not enough on God, and I apologized to her for everything she had to deal with because of me over the last few years.  She said, “you know, Mary Beth, I knew that the whole time, but I couldn’t tell you because it wouldn’t have meant anything to you.”  She’s right.  This was something I had to learn for myself.  I thanked her for listening to me, and told her my promise to God to take this lesson with me for the rest of my life.  She forgave me, hugged me, and then we went our separate ways.

God has an interesting way of bringing things full-circle, though.  Andrea was cordial toward me at camp the next couple of years (at that point, I was also old enough to be on staff, so I had more necessary interaction with her), but I tried to keep my distance when I didn’t have to be with her.  I bid her farewell the last day of camp the summer of 2003, thinking I would likely never see her again.  I had graduated high school and was on my way to Emmanuel College, and she was attending college somewhere near where she lived.  She wished me luck at Emmanuel, gave me a hug, and I left her with a clear heart and mind.  I was quite shocked a few weeks later when I looked out my dorm window at Emmanuel and saw Andrea and her sister on the quad!  She said it was a last minute decision to transfer there.  I was nervous about what she might tell people about me, but she actually became a really good friend.  She even extended an invitation to me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.  We remain friends to this day.

It took a whack in the face for me and the Phantom to realize that what we thought was okay, was actually very much not okay.  The Phantom and I both had to learn our lessons through our own living through the events, and even though we didn’t get what we thought we wanted, we both experienced love and forgiveness in a very special way.  God says to “have no other gods before Me” in Exodus 20:3, and in verse 5 says that He is a “jealous” God.  Dude… I broke the VERY FIRST of the 10 Commandments!  Back in the days when God originally gave the Israelites these commandments, they were not too far removed from being slaves in Egypt where many gods were served.  The One True God wanted to make it clear that He, and only He, was the all-encompassing God, and as such, only He should be served and worshipped.  In today’s society, we can allow lots of things to become gods to us… fame, fortune, success, other people, TV, video games, etc.  Anything that we allow to consume our thoughts and time so much that we begin to find our identity, purpose, or sense of security in that rather than in the Lord can become a god.

Poor old Phantom Erik and I were looking to a person for our identity and purpose.  And while I have kept my promise to the Lord to not allow another person to take priority over Him, I have admittedly come really close to crossing the line at various times over the years.  But thankfully, God in His infinite grace and love has helped me to step back and re-focus before the promise was broken. While I do still desire to help and protect people, it is now out of genuine care and love in Christ, and my friends help me with my social awkwardness when I inadvertently behave in a manner that could be taken a wrong way.  Is there anything in your life that is consuming more of your time and attention than God?  What can you do to re-focus and get your priorities straight? Do you have people in your life who can help keep you in check and teach you things?